Friday, September 19, 2008

Patience - and I need advise!

The first picture here is a cute one of Sydney on her new pride and joy - her big wheel! It also shows her cute new haircut. I have been learning lately what true patience parents of 2 year olds have to learn to have. My sister Heather described it well when she said that 2 year olds are just a tiny body so full of emotions, and they often don't know how to handle all their feelings. So, I have been doing a little better being patient when she has emotional outbursts - most often having to do with wanting to be independent and do things "all by herself". It wasn't a big deal to me today when it took 30 mins. to go from our house on her big wheel to the church (which is less than a block away from our house) because she is still learning how to pedal. The neighborhood kids made me feel old when they saw her riding the big wheel and asked why her bike looked so funny. I guess they had never seen a "big wheel".

The thing I don't know if I need more patience or just more stubbornness is for Sydney's potty training! Many parents have told me to not push her until she is at least 3, but then others have told me the older she gets, the harder the battle will be because she will get more stubborn. Right now, if I even mention trying to go potty, she throws a fit. She likes talking about "someday" she will be big and go potty like her older friends and cousins. I have tried bribing her with stickers and candy, etc. She of course loves those two things, but when it comes to going to the potty, she wants nothing to do with them. Help! Should I stop pushing for a while, or conquer this battle while it is still young?

The other pictures here are from Zach's talent show performance of Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" again. He wanted to do a Snoop Dog song or a Chris Brown song, but I told him that the lyrics had to be clean for a general public audience. He said he could do the edited version, but I told him he needed the edited version on CD as well. I guess life is full of disappointments.


Shelly said...

Potty training is a hard decision. I've seen so many different things work and many things not work. Sydney's readiness is huge.

At this age, I would certainly have treats, potties and underwear around the house. Does she keep her diaper dry at night?

I always start with sitting them on the potty when I change diapers first thing and last thing. You could sit her anytime you change a diaper. If she uses the potty, go crazy, reward, cheer, etc.

What finally worked for Emma was going around 1/2 naked, not wearing underwear.

Biggest problem: you cannot make her potty train, so the control issue (parent vs. child) is hard. My preference is to work slow and follow their lead. If it is driving you and her crazy, take a break for a few weeks and try again.

I hope that helps. I'm interested to hear how it goes.

Holly said...

Hey, every child is different. You can't always go by other peoples time lines. I heard lots of advice for when to potty train my kids. Everyone of them did it at a different age. I'll have to call you some time because I have a good idea for doing it, but it would take to much room to type it all. And no matter what I say, you and Sydney will have to do things the way that works for you. If she is wanting to be independant, now could be a good time.

SBAM said...

Holly's right, every child's different. I started Brynn at the same time with the same method as several friends started theirs. 18 months later, all those friends were trained and Brynn was barely to the point that I would take her out in public without a pull up. My method worked, she just kept having setbacks every couple of months. She'd just regress. You will need patience, and just take it one step at a time. I bought Brynn some new movies, tons of juice and sat her on the potty in front of the tv. I also would put a small tupperware of warm water under her feet to make her go about every hour. We'd set the timer. I covered the house with old towels. Limits the amount of cleanup when there's an accident. If it gets to be too frustrating for either of you, just take a break for a couple weeks. I really didn't want Brynn associating potty training with getting into trouble a lot. Some kids are fast, some kids take forever. Either way, good luck!

Sarah said...

Looks like you've gotten great advice. My kids all potty-trained at different times too, from 2 years to 3 and-a-half years. I do whatever will help me remain sane at the end of the day (or at least I try) - and count my day a success in that I'm still here and still trying - however imperfectly.

sunnytosh said...

Xac is almost 4 and still not potty trained. I know boys are harder, but I feel wrong about forcing him to go. He says no and won't sit on it, so I just leave it at that. As much as I hate paying for diapers, I just can't bring myself to force it on him, and I think if it takes a little while longer it is not hurting anyone. There are lots of foreign countries that do 'elimination communication' from birth, but it is now too late to do that for us. I think it would have been cool, but I had too much going on at that time to try to learn how. I really thought about it with Xhaiden but didn't. Oh well.

sunnytosh said...

btw I love the big wheel.

Happilyeverafterx3 said...

Someone who will remain nameless for fear of her finding out and getting angry, took until three months before she turned FIVE to finish potty training. It will happen in time and never think of it as Sydney is "behind" in her development.


melissa said...

So...I tagged you on my blog. Go check it out.

vbpeacock said...

Hi Hanna,
Potty-training sucks! I feel your pain. I am not expert, Gunnar was almost 4.5 when he finally learned and it was a rough. He actually had anxiety about it to the point that he would just cry and if he had and accident he would freak out. So I didn't know what to do with this kid that needed to be potty trained so he could go to preschool. I finally spoke with a friend who is a child psychologist and begged for help. Basically she said to take him out of diapers, let me have a mess and then make him clean it up himself. Have no reaction just say "oh,you have a mess" (on my Persian rug or down pillows or whatever just got ruined and you want to scream) and say you better go clean yourself up, show them how to do it once and they have to do it all themselves until they decide to use the potty.
I know it sounds awful but we were so desperate we did it and it worked. It took a month, but finally worked. This is, of course, extreme, but if you end up down potty road longer than you expect, it might be worth a try.

Two things in parenting (that I thought before I had kids how hard could it be), potty training and breastfeeding. Oh how naive of me...

It's fun to read the blog and see how you are all doing and how much Sydney looks like Eran.

Check out our blog at:


D said...

We're going through it here too. Still working on it and trying not to force it too much. If I have a lot of energy and we don't have to go anywhere- he spends the day half naked and he will go pee on the potty consistently if I remind him. Occasionally he asks to go on his own and that always gets big fanfare. I am planning to make a chart and and wrap up a bunch of dollar store toys and treats and award him prizes- since that seems to motivate him. My cousin said she would encourage her son to go whenever she went to the bathroom. If he didn't want to she didn't push it but she would say something like,"That's fine now but when you turn three you have to go on the toilet because three year olds don't wear diapers anymore." So she went easy on him but encouraged him and prepared him to mentally think- when I'm three I use the toilet- and when he was three he did. I think we will try that too... :)

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